Sexologist: 'Many parents have a lackluster sex life... Time for some hot tips!'

You know how it is

it's busy at work, the household chores still need to be done, and the kids entertained. Oh, and then there's also a partner who wants attention. Mothers often have enough on their plate and bringing back the spark in the bedroom isn't always priority number one.

But the relationship with your partner remains important, of course, perhaps even more so after having children. There was once a time when you chose each other and the sparks flew. Sex was fun, new, exciting, and plentiful. Now the fire has died down and the bedroom has partly lost its function as a place for sex...

However, sex remains important

It helps reduce stress by releasing oxytocin (a hormone that plays a role in the feeling of connection). You can also view sex as a mini workout, as you can burn about 100 kilocalories in just half an hour. Making the bed for 20 minutes burns the same amount, but this is certainly more fun to do in bed. Moreover, a great advantage is that you often sleep better after a good round of sex. All in all, only benefits.

The question is

How do you bring back the excitement and restore the bedroom to its former function? First of all, it's important to be aware that a routine probably needs to be broken, because let's be honest, there's probably very little variation in positions.

Tip 1 is to try out some new positions! With the wonder that is Google, you can go a long way and find endless images, books, and so on with different positions and variations. Pick out a few that seem doable (admit it, for some you really need to be a contortionist) and try them with your partner! As foreplay, it can be fun to put on a nice lingerie set again. Okay, it's much more comfortable to wear that old bra that fits so well, but a surprise for your partner every now and then can't hurt and (bonus) you'll probably feel more attractive yourself. This doesn't only apply to women, as men can also make an effort to look extra attractive now and then.

Tip 2 is plan wanneer je seks gaat hebben. Uit onderzoek is namelijk gebleken dat als je seks plant, al is het 1 keer in de 2 weken op woensdag, dit goed is voor je seksleven. Het is namelijk zo dat je beide naar deze dag kunt uitkijken en er dan mogelijk een bepaalde spanning wordt opgebouwd. Zet dit dan ook bij elkaar in de agenda en stuur bijvoorbeeld af en toe een berichtje naar elkaar waarin je refereert naar de geplande seks. Zo bouwt de spanning op en is het extra leuk, want je hebt er ook tijd voor gemaakt. Dus geen stress dat je iets anders moet doen.

Tip 3 challenges you to visit a sex shop together. Nowadays, there are so many massage oils, toys, and the like on the market that there's bound to be something that suits both of you to use together. It might be fun to each pick something out separately so that it remains a surprise for the other what and when you'll use these items.

Above all, it's important to consciously decide that you want to make things more exciting in terms of sex and work on it together. And don't forget to have a quickie or perform routine sex every now and then, as that's not a bad thing and it's also a nice addition. Not every sexual encounter is fantastic, but these are also necessary and look on the bright side: you're having sex!

Hopefully, these tips will help you, and make sure to talk about it with each other. Then we are certain that the fire in the bedroom will reignite.