Is wish-mom Manouk going to undergo fertility treatments in Dubai?!
“What is it actually like to emigrate?”
A frequently asked question that I've been getting a lot lately. And honestly, I can't really give a good answer to it. It's just a bit weird, surreal, and strange. Fortunately, we live in a time where we can have a lot of contact with our loved ones back home, making the distance seem less. In addition, we're doing plenty of fun things, which makes it feel like we're on a great vacation.
The first week was mainly about arranging things for us. Applying for visas, getting stuff for our apartment, applying for bank cards, going through health insurance, etc. A lot of hassle, which doesn't exactly make my heart beat faster. I'm just not that good with those kinds of things, let's just say I have other qualities. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who is very good at handling these matters, so he took the lead. On the other hand, this was necessary because the culture is quite different from what I'm used to. My husband 'supports' me, so I am literally a 'housewife', this is stated on all my papers, documents and I even have a bank card for ladies. I didn't know it existed, but it's really there on my bank card. The first week I had to arrange some things for my visa application. I had to have blood drawn, get an X-ray, and leave some fingerprints. My husband had to come along to approve everything, and they didn't really talk to me, I just had to undergo everything. This is such a typical case of a cultural difference. There were separate waiting rooms everywhere, my husband could drop me off somewhere and then he couldn't walk with me any further and I had to figure it out myself. First, I had to give some blood. I hate needles, and I find blood drawing really terrible (because they take something out of my body, which I just find a strange idea) and this time it was also with someone who didn't speak my language. But hey, it's part of it, so we just do it. It was over quickly (thankfully) and didn't amount to much (although the nurse seemed to have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed in my opinion, because it was quite a scowl). After the blood draw, I was allowed to proceed to the next examination, the X-ray. Before undergoing this, I was given a questionnaire, on which I had to sign that I would not be pregnant. I understand that they have to ask this, don't get me wrong. But to fill the entire waiting room with large posters of pregnant women with a big cross through them, I personally found a bit exaggerated. Now my opinion on this may be a bit biased, but come on. You don't have to rub it in that hard that I'm NOT pregnant, I've known that for years. Anyway, after a short wait, I got a nice blue apron and was allowed to go to the room where I was outside again in no time. After being fully approved, it was time to focus on living in Dubai. My husband had to start working the 2nd day we were here and I was allowed to entertain myself. I have no problem with this, I hardly ever get bored and love being alone. So, I've been more than fine entertaining myself recently.
When we left for Dubai, I was perhaps a bit naive regarding our desire to have children
I thought that once we got there, we could put it aside for a while and have some time for ourselves instead of the constant urge to become parents. Until we arrived in Dubai and I quickly realized that here too, we are confronted daily with our unfulfilled desire. Here too, we receive pregnancy announcements, there are (in my eyes) pregnant women everywhere, Dubai is extremely child-friendly, there's even radio advertising for IVF (with a success guarantee, how is that possible?!) and so on. Recently, I went for a walk with a group of women, because, well, you have to make contacts with people now and then. There I quickly learned that a number of women were pregnant or had just given birth. The conversation was almost non-stop about children, giving birth, and everything related. After we finished walking, I felt a bit drained when I arrived at our apartment complex and entered the elevator where a beaming proud mother stood with a double stroller. Inside was a tiny baby with whom she communicated with such pride. At moments like these, it hits me so hard, I would so love to be the one behind that stroller. So even here, the ticking biological clock remains very much present, which of course is completely logical.
Now that I have all the time and peace, since I am currently unemployed and therefore have all the time to think and get things in order, I notice that I am tired. The rest is doing me a lot of good, I feel fine, calm, and relaxed. But I also feel that my brain and body are processing things. I sleep restlessly and sometimes feel tired and exhausted because of it. But that's totally okay, it's part of the process and I am grateful that I have the time and space to allow this. Since last October, we haven't had any treatments. I can tell you that the rest is doing me good, but still, I'm getting the itch to start again. I'm just not that good at taking breaks. We are also quietly looking into how things work here regarding IVF. That doesn't mean we're going to start treatments within a month, but it does mean we're slowly looking at what options are available here, what the potential costs are, what reviews certain clinics have, and so on. We'll see what happens. It's nice to know that there are possibilities here, so that hopefully we don't have to stand still for 2 years. How welcome it would be if we could return home as a family of three in a few years. But unfortunately, we can't see into the future, so we enjoy every nice moment that we experience together.
With love,
MANOUK (click here for her Instagram)
