Barbara: "What is happening here? Is she really trying to flirt with my husband?"

We went out to eat, as we often did

Andrew and I had decided to take the kids to that new Italian restaurant downtown. Brian, our oldest at 9, really wanted spaghetti bolognese, Vera at 7 had been nagging for days about pizza, and Sophie, our youngest at 2, was just happy she'd get ice cream for dessert. Really an outing for everyone!

We walked into the restaurant and were warmly greeted by a waitress with a striking smile

She was a young woman, maybe early 20s, and her blonde ponytail caught everyone's attention, I think. She brought us to our table. The kids ran ahead enthusiastically, and I called out: "Easy, guys! We're not the only ones here." Andrew just laughed, as always. He was the joker and the one who roughhoused with the kids. I was more serious, the talker.

We got a table by the window, which was perfect

As we sat down, the waitress already brought the high chair for us. She smiled broadly at Andrew and said: "How wonderful that you're here with such a beautiful family. May I bring you something to drink first?" Her voice sounded just a bit too cheerful, I thought. Andrew ordered a beer, I asked for a glass of white wine, and for the kids we asked for water. She nodded, but her eyes stayed fixed on Andrew. Even when I spoke, she didn't seem able to let him go. I brushed it off. Maybe she was just overly friendly. Or the type who especially wants to do well for the man at the table.

The drinks came quickly, and then we got the menus

I immediately started browsing, while the kids took turns asking me what they should choose. "Brian, look for yourself," I said, while I turned Sophie's menu around so she could see the pictures. Andrew sat back relaxed, as if he didn't notice the little circus at the table. The waitress kept standing there, her hands neatly folded in front of her apron.

"Have you been able to make a choice?" she asked, but she only looked at Andrew

He looked up from the menu and gave his order. She laughed broadly, as if he had just said something hilarious, and wrote it down. When I started speaking, she quickly looked my way, but her attention barely seemed to stay with me. She made no eye contact with the children, which I honestly found strange. Usually they ask the little ones something, like: "Are you looking forward to it?" or "What do you like?" Not her. Her attention was completely focused on Andrew.

When the order was taken and she walked away, I felt a wave of irritation

I looked at Andrew, but he was drinking his beer as if nothing was wrong. Maybe I was seeing things that weren't there, I thought. 20 minutes later the food came. Or well, the food didn't come all at once, as is usual. No, Andrew got his plate first. "Here you are, sir," she said with a smile that was again just too exaggerated. Then she gave the children their food and finally me. I watched her as she walked away. It wasn't right. I felt that on all sides.

"Are you noticing this?" I whispered to Andrew

He frowned and took a bite of his pasta. "What are you talking about?" Did he seriously not see it or was he pretending? "That waitress. She's staring at you the whole time and acting like I'm invisible." He shrugged. "Oh, she's just doing her job." My irritation grew. Especially when she came back a few minutes later to ask if everything tasted good. Not even a simple "Does everything taste good here?" No, she specifically addressed Andrew, briefly placed her hand on his shoulder and said: "And, sir, is it to your liking?"

I froze

That hand! That damn hand on his shoulder! Who does that? Andrew looked at her surprised, as if he also didn't quite know what to make of this. He nodded and mumbled something. She laughed, again that exaggerated laugh, and walked away. This was really insane. The kids hadn't noticed anything, fortunately. Vera was busy fiddling with her pizza slice, and Sophie had more attention for the colors on her napkin than for the conversation at the table. But me? I was fuming.

It didn't stop at that one moment

When she came by later to pick up the plates, she managed to touch Andrew's arm when she took his plate. "Well, that was enjoyed," she said, with that same smile. When she took my plate, not a word came out of her mouth. No look, nothing. I felt completely ignored. This wasn't normal.

The evening lasted way too long

I tried to hide my irritation from the kids. Andrew remained his relaxed self, which only frustrated me more. How could he not see this? Or worse, how could he just accept it? When it was time for dessert, the waitress explicitly asked Andrew if he wanted another cup of coffee. "Or maybe something stronger?", she asked with a mischievous smile. I had seen enough. This was no longer a coincidence. This was deliberate. She was obviously trying to win him over, while I sat next to him like a decoration.

"No, thank you," I said sharply before Andrew could say anything

"We'll just take three kids' ice creams and the check, please." She finally looked at me, but her smile was gone. Without saying a word, she walked away. I felt triumphant for a moment, but the atmosphere at the table was now anything but relaxed. When we finally went home, the kids were fortunately content in the car. But I couldn't let it go. As soon as we closed the front door behind us and the kids had gone upstairs, I turned to Andrew.

"You noticed that, right?" I asked

He looked at me surprised. "What?" Did he mean this? Did he think that behavior was just normal? "Like I said earlier: that waitress! She was flirting with you the whole time. She touched you, laughed excessively, and acted like I didn't exist." Andrew shrugged again. "Oh, Barb, you're seeing ghosts. She was just being friendly." I could explode. This wasn't friendliness. This was something else. But the more I tried to convince him, the less he seemed to understand what I was talking about. Eventually I gave up.

I found it so annoying

My husband gets a lot of attention quite often. I find that so annoying. Yes, he's handsome. But he also has a wife and children. Behave normally! And flirt with a man who is clearly single…

BARBARA