Maternity nurse Vivienne: "The family situation took a bizarre turn"

My name is Vivienne and I have been working as a maternity nurse for almost fifteen years

I've experienced a lot over those years: from the first convulsions of a newborn baby to stubborn fathers meddling in everything. But there is one week that will always stay with me, a week in which I supported a mother through one of the hardest moments of her life.

I had just dropped off my own children at school when I was called by my coordinator

She had an urgent job for me. A young mother, alone at home with her newborn daughter, needed help desperately. I didn't hesitate for a moment and immediately said yes. I was always up for a challenge, but this situation would affect me more than I ever expected.

I rang the doorbell at a small terraced house

The door was opened by a young woman, no older than twenty, I guessed. Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked as if she hadn't slept all night. "Hi, I'm Vivienne, your maternity nurse for the coming week," I said in my cheeriest tone. "Come in," she whispered. She introduced herself as Mia. As I took off my shoes, I heard a baby crying. I followed the sound and saw a small crib in the living room. The baby, a girl, was restlessly kicking. The room itself looked as though a tornado had gone through it. Empty bottles, used diapers, and dirty clothes were everywhere. I tried not to show how overwhelming I found it.

“Have you received any help in the past few days?”, I asked

Mia shook her head. “The previous maternity nurse left after one day. She couldn't handle it or something, I don't know exactly. And Otto, my boyfriend, he's not here. He hardly comes home anymore.” She tried to sound casual, but I heard a broken tone in her voice. It immediately became clear to me that Mia was on her own. I decided to first create some structure. “Let's start by taking care of your little girl, okay? What's her name?”, I asked. “Ginny,” said Mia softly, her eyes fixed on the crib. I nodded and suggested we change Ginny first. Mia seemed relieved that there was finally someone to help her.

While I was changing Ginny, I tried to reassure Mia

“You're doing well, you know that? It's tough, but you're really doing well.” Mia nodded, but I saw the tears in her eyes. She was exhausted and emotional, and I knew there was more going on than just tiredness. In the following days, I tried to establish a routine for Ginny and Mia. We made a daily schedule, I taught Mia how to keep her daughter calm during feeding, and I showed her how to take time for herself. But every time I left Mia alone with Ginny, I saw the fear in her eyes. She was afraid to be alone, afraid of doing something wrong. I remained patient, knowing that building trust takes time.

On the third day of my duty, something happened that changed everything

I had just finished cleaning up the kitchen when I heard the front door open. A man, probably Otto, stepped inside. He looked hurried and stressed, with dark circles under his eyes. Mia jumped up from the couch, hopeful. “Otto, are you finally home?” He nodded briefly. “I need to grab some things,” he said, without looking at her. I felt the tension in the room rise. Mia’s face contorted. “Why?”, she asked.

“I can't do this anymore,” he said loudly

“I'm leaving you all. I can't take it anymore, it's too much. I've found another place. I'll just come back for my things and then... then we're done.” I stood there, petrified, as Mia collapsed. Literally. She sank onto the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees. Otto muttered something inaudible, grabbed a bag, and walked out the door without looking back. When he was gone, she let it all out. Her crying was intense, the sounds of a heart shattering into a thousand pieces. That I witnessed this. During a shift.

I didn't know what to do

This went beyond my job as a maternity nurse. This was a personal nightmare that I wasn't supposed to be a part of. But I was there and I had to do something. “Mia,” I said softly, as I sat down beside her. “I'm here. You're not alone.” She cried and convulsed, her whole body shaking. “He just left us. He just abandons us. How am I supposed to do this, Vieve? I can't do this alone. I can't do this…” Her words came out stuttering and broken. I put an arm around her and held her tight. I knew that all I could offer her at that moment was comfort. The practical matters would come later.

After Mia had calmed down a bit, I stood up and picked Ginny up from the crib

“We're going to do this together, okay? Step by step. I'm here for you, for as long as you need me.” Mia looked at me gratefully. “Thank you,” she smiled. “I don't know what I would have done without you.” I wondered if she didn't have any parents to support her, but I didn't dare to ask. The following days were tough. Mia was completely upset and desperately tried to understand why Otto had left her. She barely had the energy to take care of herself, let alone Ginny. I did what I could to keep the household running and to take care of Ginny. I often stayed longer than my working hours and did much more than what was expected of a maternity nurse. But I couldn't leave her alone. Not in this state.

Every day started the same: I came in, found Mia somewhere on the couch or in bed, and took Ginny from her

I tried to motivate Mia to at least eat, shower, and take some time for herself. But it was difficult. She was a woman who had seen her whole world collapse. Incredibly intense. On the fifth day, I began to notice that small changes were occurring. At one point, Mia got up without me having to ask, and got dressed. She started to take some responsibility for Ginny again, changing her and feeding her. They were small steps, but they gave me hope.

Yet the fact that Otto had left them hung over us like a dark cloud

Every time someone rang the doorbell, she hoped it was Otto coming back. But he didn't return. Not even once. On my last day, I said goodbye to Mia and Ginny. I gave Mia a big hug and told her she could always call me if she needed help. “You did a great job, despite everything,” I said. She smiled weakly.

I walked outside with a lump in my throat

This was not just any workweek. It was an experience I would never forget. I didn't just help Mia and Ginny, I also pushed my own boundaries and learned what it means to truly be there for someone. Sometimes, maternity care isn't just about babies and bottles, but also about holding someone who is about to lose control of her life.

MATERNITY ASSISTANT VIVIENNE