Marleen: “My daughter opened the front door without any clothes on”

It has become a custom

Gino and I always walk around naked at home. Not because we are such a liberated couple, but because we simply enjoy it. It feels natural, and I have never felt the need to change that. Until Evan, our ten-year-old son, suddenly started to complain.

“Mom, seriously, put on a shirt,” he calls out as he enters the living room

I'm just folding a laundry basket, unsuspecting. "What's the matter?" I ask as I look at him. He averts his eyes. "It's just weird, okay? What if someone sees it?" "Who would see it?" I ask, my hands on my hips. "Well, my friends for example! That's why I never invite them," he says, with a look that's half angry, half uncomfortable. That hits me.

I'm trying to explain to him that this is simply our way

“But Evan, this is our home. You know dad and I have always done this. Why are you suddenly making a fuss about it?” He shrugs and mutters something about it just being stupid. Then he grabs his school bag and disappears upstairs.

Maaike simply participates

Our 7-year-old daughter Maaike doesn't seem to have a problem with it at all. In fact, she follows our example. When I'm in the kitchen and she comes running in, it's often the same story. No clothes, but a big smile and wild hair. She's just like I used to be, carefree and pure. But I'm starting to wonder if it's really wise.

A few days ago, Maaike was sitting on the floor in the living room with her dolls

She had lined them all up and was playing a sort of school. While I was in the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Maaike jumped up to open it. “No! Wait,” I shouted, but it was too late. She opened the door in the nude. There stood the neighbor with a box of eggs in her hands. I saw her eyes widen for a moment before she quickly looked away. “Oh, uh, here are the eggs,” she stammered. “Thank you!” said Maaike cheerfully, completely unaware of what was so awkward about the situation. I stood behind her with a red face. “Sorry, I uh, she usually doesn’t open the door,” I mumbled, as I took the box.

When the door was closed, I turned to Maaike

“Sweetheart, you shouldn't just open the door like that. And if you do, at least put on a dress, okay?” She looked at me as if I were speaking Chinese. “Why? The neighbor didn't mind, did she?” I didn't know what to say. Maybe the neighbor didn't mind, but Evan's words kept echoing in my head. “What if someone sees?”

Evans's annoyance grows

A week later, Evan comes home with a friend, Levi. I see them approaching and just in time, I realize I'm not wearing anything. I quickly grab a bathrobe and put it on before they enter. At that moment, Gino is sitting on the couch, naturally in the nude. “Hi mom,” Evan calls out as he hangs up his coat. I notice how Levi looks around and his gaze lingers on Gino a bit longer than is comfortable. Evan notices it too and blushes. “Dad, seriously? Put something on!”

Gino looks up in surprise

“What? It's just home, dude. Levi can handle it, right?” He laughs, but Evan is not in the mood. “No, dad. It's not normal. Put something on or we're going upstairs.” I watch as Gino reluctantly goes upstairs to get some sweatpants. Evan and Levi disappear into his room. I feel uncomfortable. This is our house, but maybe Evan has a point. If he doesn't feel comfortable here, shouldn't I take that seriously?

Time for a conversation

That evening, after the children have gone to bed, I decide to talk to Gino. “I think we need to change,” I say. He looks at me in surprise. “Change? What do you mean?” “Evan is really struggling with it. He says he's afraid to invite his friends over. And Maaike is starting to pick up our habits. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.”

Gino sighs

“But this is who we are, Marleen. We've always done it this way. Do we really need to change because Evan finds it difficult?” I shrug. “Maybe we do. It's not just for him. It also feels uncomfortable when Maaike just opens the door. I just want everyone to feel comfortable.”

He thinks for a moment

“Okay, let's give it a try. For Evan. But only if it's really necessary.” I nod. It feels like a compromise, but it's a start. The next morning, I put on a T-shirt before going downstairs. It feels strange, but I see how relieved Evan looks. Maybe this is the right choice. Maybe not. But there's one thing I'm sure of: I want my children to feel at home in their own house, even if that means I have to adjust myself.

MARLEEN