Are you a Millennial mom? Eveline is, and she's a single parent
A while ago, a video went viral of Meghan Markle speaking candidly about how difficult she finds motherhood
An incredible number of people have watched it. It's fantastic that she speaks so openly about it, and I think many new moms can relate. Watch it here.
Millennial mother = born between 1980 and 2000 (in my opinion, varies quite a bit online). I am 29 years old, born in the year 1990.
Do millennial mothers have it harder than the previous generation? That question crossed my mind after watching that video. In the generations before us (us = millennials), women almost always took on the task of caring for the children and managing the household. Men were responsible for bringing in the income. I think this has already been a significant change one generation back, as women also started to work more in combination with motherhood. Nowadays, a lot is expected of you. As a mother, you need to be there for your children, but also pursue a career (which many women want). If you don't want this, you're labeled a 'stay-at-home mom'. In addition, you show off on social media what a fun and busy life you lead, you want to be social, participate in #fitgirl and get a gym membership. Millennials set high standards for themselves, which makes things somewhat harder in combination with parenthood.
What I notice about myself is that I have very little time for myself
Perhaps this is because I'm a single mother or due to the way we live now. What does a typical weekday look like for a single millennial mother?
6:00 AM > Get up, feed daughter Mila.
6:00-7:00 > Get dressed, do makeup, pack bags, feed the pets.
7.00 – 7.30 > Dress Mila and often play for a short time.
7:30 > Heading to daycare. In the baby carrier, on the bike, and sometimes by car. Depending on the weather and time.
7.50> Walk to the train.
8:30 AM > At the office in Den Bosch, where I often have my breakfast as well.
17:30 > Train back to Tilburg.
18.15> Picked up Mila from daycare and heading back home.
18.30 > Fortunately, I prepared the food yesterday, so we'll eat that.
19.00 > Mila in bath (she doesn't like it, so it's a tiring task).
19:30 > Drink milk, then off to bed. Meanwhile, we'll read some books.
20.00 > I'll take a shower myself.
20:30 > Prepare food for tomorrow, do the dishes, lay out clothes.
21:30 > MY TIME! What do I do then? I go painting/drawing or exercising at home. Sometimes watching a series or reading a book. Often I notice that I spend that time on social media and Whatsapp, but I try to reduce that and do it on the train.
22:30 > Time for bed.
This shows that on weekdays I have at most an hour of personal time. Sometimes Mila doesn't want to sleep, and then I actually have no free time at all. Still, I manage to relax quite well at work. If I compare my day to a weekend day, I still don't have much 'Eveline-time' and the day often ends up being even more exhausting. Hats off to the moms who don't work and take on the full-time care of the kids.
Just going back to something general
Millennials seem to have a harder time financially than previous generations. This is due to the fact that childcare and after-school care have become more expensive over time. According to The Washington Post, the costs have increased by eighteen percent compared to the sixties. However, today's mothers are more confident about parenting than before. 57 percent of millennial mothers feel they are doing well in terms of parenting. Generation X is somewhat less certain about their skills: 48 percent think they are doing well. Among baby boomers, this figure is 41 percent, as revealed by research from the American research institute Pew Research Center.
Do we (the millennials) have it harder? I think it's difficult to compare, but I don't believe so. It's all about how you handle it, I suppose. Personally, I would have found it incredibly tough to be a mom from the baby boomer generation. I'm the type who likes to keep doing my own thing. I'm ambitious and like to continue my own activities in addition to motherhood. Moreover, millennials now have so many resources to look up information. Teething? Dr. Google has tips. You're also not looked at strangely if you're away from home a lot for work. This was the case for the baby boomers and Generation X, where as a woman you were expected to be the one spending a lot of time with the children, and at that time, the career mom did not always receive appreciation.
Do you recognize yourself as a cliché millennial parent in the following list?
– You've done a cake smash photoshoot for your little one's 1st birthday
– The days fly by, but what have you actually done today?
– #baby. A whopping 81% of Millennial parents post photos of their kids online. Are you one of them?
– The average age of having children is higher than Generation X. The average age is now 32 years!
– You had a detailed 3D ultrasound of your baby done
- Google is your best friend.
I am still discovering how to create more 'Eveline-time' for myself. I notice that when I do things that excite me besides parenthood, I can also be a better and more fun mother.
How do you experience this? Tips are welcome!
EVELIN
