My childbirth went very differently than I had imagined

Of course I knew it was going to hurt

But after 41 weeks and 4 days, and with outside temperatures of 40 degrees, I was pretty much fed up. Also, the well-intentioned messages: 'Has she arrived yet?' or 'She really doesn't feel like it, does she?' were very frustrating. After two checks at the hospital, they started talking about induction. My wish was for a home birth, so I asked if I could be stripped. My own midwife agreed, but unfortunately, I had no dilation. Another disappointment. I thought about induction anyway. My parents had been staying with us for a week by that time. I really wanted my mother to be there for the birth, and since she lived an hour away from us, this was the best option. Because I started talking about induction and the birth was still not happening, my parents suggested they should go home. Just as my parents were about to leave, my contractions suddenly started spontaneously. Luckily, just in time. The contractions were very intense and frequent. A labor storm of 11 hours, during which I also became extremely nauseous. But I kept thinking about one thing: I wanted to meet our little girl. Yet, in between, I felt like I couldn't go on. My midwife, husband, and mother kept giving me a boost to keep going. Could it still be possible to give birth at home? Unfortunately, after 11 hours of labor and only 4 centimeters of dilation, the midwife could no longer help me. My waters had already broken, so I had to go to the hospital. I wanted to go to Tilburg, but it was full. Another disappointment. Then to Den Bosch, where, fortunately, a bed (the last one) was available. The car ride was terrible. Contractions and vomiting alternated. Once at the hospital, I started asking about pain relief. I was so exhausted that I wanted the strongest thing they had to offer: the epidural. Thankfully, the injection was 100% better than I expected and I had a great anesthesiologist. A down-to-earth man who enjoyed a joke. I felt so relieved. I saw the intense contractions peaking on the monitor, but I hardly felt anything. What a relief. A moment of rest. A moment to recover, as far as that was possible.

When I returned to the room

they were going to start with the labor inducers to get the dilation going. In my mind, I thought I would see my girl soon, but unfortunately, that moment was still a long way off. On the other hand, the labor inducers caused our girl's heart rate to drop significantly. How frightening that was! They then started with labor inhibitors and I had to lie on my side so that more oxygen would go to the baby. After many hours, they indicated that I finally had 10 centimeters of dilation, but that I had to get inducers again for the pushing contractions. We were so afraid of the consequences. Unfortunately, our fear became a reality, because once again things went very badly with our girl. A room full of doctors with slight panic. The little one had to come out now! Eventually, she was delivered urgently in one contraction and three big cuts through an assisted delivery. In our opinion, they had taken quite a risk by giving me the labor inducers again, even though they had seen before that our girl did not respond well to them.

After the birth, she was placed on my chest for a moment, but then quickly taken away for examinations. The fear returned, partly because there was little communication with us at that time. We felt so powerless. After several blood tests, fortunately, good results came back and our little girl could be with us again. Just a night in the hospital for extra checks. I didn't sleep a wink that night. I wanted to keep an eye on her continuously. Thankfully, everything turned out well and after a night in the hospital, we were allowed to go home the next day. Finally, in our familiar environment together as a brand-new little family. The moment we had been waiting for so long.

Our daughter is now three months old and we are very proud

But sometimes I still have to think back to that moment, then a tear rolls out of my eyes, because I am so grateful that it all turned out well. How deeply we love her. As level-headed as I was for that delivery, I don't think I will be for the next one. I didn't know so much could go wrong. Such worries. Fortunately, most of the time it does go well. Every pregnancy and delivery is different, even with the same mother. Hopefully, the next delivery in the future will go much smoother. But for now, we are just enjoying ourselves as a family of three.

SAMANTHA