Teenage Pregnancy: I was 14 and pregnant, I am now 26 and my son is 12

I was 14 when I first saw my then-boyfriend of the same age at camp

Weeks later he added me on MSN and after many chat sessions and a few months, we started 'dating'. From innocent hand-holding and walking around the school, it escalated to serious touching after three months. We were kids just doing whatever. Three months after that, this resulted in my missed period. We stayed at my place over the weekend because I always had a lot of trouble during my period. But it didn't come. My cycle was usually regular to the minute, so I quickly realized something was wrong. On the first day, I already thought: "This is bad news."

We just continued living as if nothing was wrong

My 'in-laws' were extremely reformed. There had already been many dramas at his home between his mother and us. For example, when he gave me a little kiss or the time she found condoms in his room. Completely upset, she would then call my mother. Who, in turn, was relieved at least that we were being safe. All these dramas largely contributed to us being absolutely terrified to tell them. Emotionally, I did not feel safe to tell his parents. Of course, I wasn't looking forward to telling my parents either. 'Hey dad and mom, yes I'm 15, but I'm going to make you grandparents already. Yeah, go hang up the streamers.' No, I definitely found this nerve-wracking too, but I trusted that my parents would support me.

I was quite underweight and the only thing I noticed was that I gradually got a 'normal' physique and that I was extremely tired

I heard comments like: 'Finally, Melody is starting to get some figure.' I would cringe inside because I knew better. Until my grandfather passed away and I needed a decent pair of trousers for the funeral. My mother found it very strange that I had suddenly gone from a size 34 to a 36. A few days later was the funeral and that evening my mother came to my bed. She asked me: 'When was the last time you had your period?' I replied: 'I don't know.' To which my mother suggested that maybe it was a good idea to go to the doctor tomorrow. I got a big kiss and hug. Later, my father came upstairs and was emotional. He himself was born from a teenage pregnancy but was then given up for adoption. My father told me that evening that no matter what happens, they would always be there for me.

The next morning I took a test at the doctor's, which was of course positive

Two days later, we had an appointment with the midwife. I had an ultrasound and for the first time, I saw my baby on the screen. I remember exactly what I thought: 'Wow, is this really living inside my belly?' I fell in love instantly. According to the calculations, I was already 16 weeks and 4 days pregnant. My father suggested calling my in-laws that evening. They responded with: 'I had predicted that. They were always together on the trampoline.' Of course, you can understand that to this day the joke remains: 'Keep your children away from a trampoline, that's how you get kids.'

The following weekend we went to talk to them and they talked almost exclusively about the church and a pro-life organization

All I could think was: "My child isn't in any danger, right?". After another week at home, I went back to school. I was quite popular, but students found my sudden long absence suspicious. That Friday, one of my popular friends asked me as we got off the bus: 'Are you pregnant?' I told her the truth and emphatically asked her not to tell anyone, as I would announce it in class on Monday. When I arrived at school that Monday, everyone was staring at my belly. I went from being the popular girl to the ignored girl. I was facing a lonely time at school. After a while, my 'best friend' said: 'I'm not going to hang out with you during breaks anymore. Everyone ignores you and I feel obligated to talk to you. I want to be part of a group.' This hit me like a slap in the face. Breaks lasted forever and out of embarrassment to sit alone, I went to the bathroom several times.

My family reacted positively, fortunately

My devout grandmother said: 'Of course it's not good, but here are some things and money for you.' I received almost my entire baby layette from her. I thoroughly enjoyed collecting the layette and also the visits to the midwife. More and more, I felt love for this little being inside me. We didn't need to know the gender. We just felt it was a boy and whether this was actually the case, would be revealed at birth.

I have been catcalled on the street a few times

'A child who is pregnant? What a disgrace!', a man yelled at me. I was in my fourth year of higher general secondary education and actually, my pregnancy was quite well-timed. I automatically got leave, so I could stay home at 7.5 months pregnant. It was summer vacation after all. Four weeks before my due date, I started having cramps in my stomach at night. These cramps eventually came every few minutes. My mother called the midwife, who arrived quickly. After a chat about pre-labor contractions, I wanted to show her out. On the way to the door, I had another cramp. That's when she said: 'Well girl, you might as well lie down, because this does look like a real contraction.' Sure enough, 3 centimeters dilated. Off to the hospital. I had a growth ultrasound and some other tests. It was touch and go whether and how long he would need to stay in the incubator. I was scared and disappointed. I just wanted to have my baby with me after the birth.

But during the examinations, my contractions regressed and eventually stopped completely

After a night's sleep and having been checked all over, I was allowed to go home. My mother then took me everywhere with her. She didn't dare leave me alone at home anymore. “What if the baby comes?” I was actually quite calm about it. I just let it happen. I also wasn't worried about the delivery.

One day before the due date, I woke up early in the morning and immediately felt: “It has begun!”

I went to my mother's bedroom and she immediately called the midwife. Soon I started having more intense and frequent contractions. The midwife arrived at 4:50 AM. She performed an internal examination. I thought to myself: "I won't be satisfied with less than 5 centimeters dilation." Guess what!? 7 centimeters! That's very quick in one hour. Less than half an hour later, I was at 10 centimeters and was allowed to start pushing. I couldn't believe what was happening. I thought: "My lower body is going to burst." Eventually, I said: "Mom, I can't do this anymore!" "Just hold on a little longer," she told me, "when you think you can't go on, that's when it's almost over." After exactly 6 minutes of pushing, my son was born. Completely healthy. Jinan, my greatest pride, my child. He almost immediately started breastfeeding and the maternity nurse said: "You're naturals at this, it's so easy." I couldn't have been prouder at that moment.

I gave birth a week before the end of the summer vacation

After four weeks, I went back to school. The final year of Havo. I was still largely ignored at school, but I didn't care. I knew what I was living for. I made my own schedule. I regularly handed in notes for all sorts of things. Dentist, general practitioner, you name it. I made sure I was at home as much as possible to take care of Jinan. Once we were in the cafeteria talking about our homework. I mentioned that I found it quite a lot of study work and that I had to combine all that with my baby. A student then said: “What are you worried about? Your mother just takes care of your child, right?” That comment pierced my heart.

People thought I handed my baby over to my mother and that I had a carefree teenage life

This was absolutely not the case. I took care of my baby myself, and that's why it hurt so much to hear this. My mother-in-law also made many unpleasant remarks. When I came home and she had been babysitting, she would say: 'Can you take over now?' Babysitting? It's my child! I wasn't babysitting, I was caring for my baby, and she was the one babysitting. The comments and judgments from other people were hurtful, but I didn't let them influence me. I focused on Jinan and our future. I got my degree and Jinan grew like a weed. 12 years later, he is only half a head shorter than me.

‘Being a young parent means we met a little early. But it also means I get to love you a little longer. Some people said my life ended when I had a baby, but my life had just begun. You didn’t take away my future, you gave me a new one.’

MELODY