Letting your baby cry so it learns to sleep? Shut up! #againstsleeptraining

Babies and sleep

Entire libraries have been written about it. Whether to put them down or not, to let them cry or not to let them cry... Our toddler just turned two. He went from sleeping on me to sleeping next to me. And from the co-sleeper to his own little bed at the foot of ours. Until suddenly he himself indicated, "sleep in own bed, own room". In his own little room, I sat next to him on the floor every evening. I sang songs, rocked him, and gently pushed him back and forth. This contact made him feel safe enough to fall asleep.

BEWARE! BAD SLEEPING HABITS!

Now you have a child who can't fall asleep on their own. A child who will ask for help in the middle of the night. A child who comes in the dark asking for a hug and a sip of water. A child who seeks comfort when they wake up. A child who manipulates to get their way. A child who will never learn to fall asleep on their own again...

SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Even if I had to sit with him like this until he is 16 years old. I am his mother. A mother who offers her child help, even at night. A mother who gives her child a hug and a sip of water. A mother who provides her child with a sense of security when he wakes up. A mother who teaches her child that he can't always get what he wants, but that he is heard and seen. By now, our toddler falls asleep on his own. In his own little room and in his own little bed. I only sit in the rocking chair and sing a few songs or nurse his 5-month-old sister while he falls asleep. He has learned to fall asleep on his own without stress, without crying. And most importantly: He has never lost trust in me. He has always been heard. That has made him see sleep as something pleasant. He feels safe and even wants to go to bed himself when he's tired.

Where I used to walk back and forth for hours with the toddler to rock him to sleep as a baby, our new baby falls asleep within 5 minutes. You can also just lay her down 8 out of 10 times without her immediately waking up. What a difference.

No child is the same

Why do I still read so many terribly outdated pieces of advice about letting your baby cry it out? Yes, your child will stop crying, but at what cost? The trust in you as a mother, because you don't come anyway. And you lose trust in yourself, because you don't listen to your gut feeling. You're not going to tell me you don't want to comfort your child when it cries. Of course, you do! Why don't they teach all new moms at the clinic to follow their own feelings? Why don't we teach new moms that they know best what their baby needs? Why do we still think that babies should be able to sleep like adults right away. Isn't that strange? Why are we so strange? A baby has spent 9 months in your womb and then it's born and has to sleep by itself somewhere in a crib far away from its mom. Cuckoo. Of course, it's easier for us as adults if your baby just goes to sleep so you can do something else. What's your priority? Your own convenience, or making sure your baby feels safe and secure?

Anyway, I am in favor of a child-centered approach

And because every child is different, I cannot tell you which method will work for your little one. However, I can invite you to check in with yourself each time to feel what is needed. Every single day. What does your little one need? That peace and quiet? Put them down. Your closeness? Keep them with you. Sounds easy. It is. You are the expert, you know your child, and you know what needs to be done to teach your child to sleep safely and calmly. Trust in that. And be patient. End of sermon.

Good luck with the quarantine. Or perhaps we can also enjoy that extra time with our family a bit?

Topic for a new blog?

MARINKA