Loes: “It really irritates others, my daughter Rosy is such a terrible busybody”

Rosy is 11 years old and really meddles in everything

It started subtly, a remark here and there. But lately, she seems to have an opinion about everything, whether it's about which movie we should watch, what Cyril (her little brother) should wear, or — even worse — how Bastiaan and I conduct our discussions. It's as if she has proclaimed herself the judge, jury, and mediator of the family.

Let me give you an example

Recently, Bastiaan and I had a disagreement about, believe it or not, the new curtains. He wanted gray, I wanted something with color. It wasn't a big fight, but one of those discussions where you both try a bit too hard to make your point. While I was in the middle of my argument, I suddenly heard a sigh from the couch. Rosy.

“Dad is actually right, you know,” she said from her corner, scrolling through her phone as if she wasn't listening

But apparently, she had picked up every word. I turned around and looked at her. “Sorry, what?” I asked, half laughing, half surprised. She put down her phone, leaned back, and began as if she had prepared a complete presentation. “Well, I mean, gray matches the rest of the room better. If you choose a color, it might clash with the couch and the floor. Besides, it looks more peaceful. Right, dad?”

Bastiaan looked at her in surprise for a moment and then at me

He could barely contain his laughter, the traitor. “Yes, exactly,” he said. “That's what I mean.” I felt my eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me?” I asked. “Since when are you the interior decorator here?” Rosy shrugged and looked at me with that confident gaze of hers. “I'm just saying it as I see it. That's allowed, isn't it?”

What was I supposed to say to that?

I was at a loss for words, while Bastiaan could barely contain his laughter. In the end, I decided to just let it go, but deep down I was seething. How dare she interfere in our discussion? And worse, why did she actually have a point?

But that was nothing compared to how they treat Cyril

Cyril is 8 years old and a typical youngest child: mischievous, stubborn, and especially not fond of his sister's meddling. Yet Rosy never misses an opportunity to tell him what to do. Recently, he was standing in the hallway, his shoes half on, when Rosy suddenly called out from the kitchen: “Cyril, your coat is still on the coat rack. Put that on first, otherwise you’re doing everything in the wrong order.” Cyril turned around and looked at her with an expression that spoke volumes. “You’re not my mother,” he said sharply, while he continued to put on his shoes. I sometimes say: “Cyril has one mother, and one father, that’s it.”

I heard it from the living room and decided to wait this time

Maybe they could solve it themselves. But of course, Rosy didn't give up. She stormed into the hallway and stood right in front of him. “I'm just trying to help you,” she said, with her hands on her hips. “You're doing it wrong. Coat first, then shoes. Everyone knows that.” Cyril stomped his foot into his shoe and looked at her furiously. “Leave me alone! If I want to put on my shoes first, I'll just do that.” “You never listen,” Rosy snapped back. “That's why everything always takes you so long.”

I decided to intervene before things really got out of hand

“Rosy, don't interfere,” I said as I walked into the hallway. “Cyril is perfectly capable of deciding how to put on his shoes and coat by himself.” She looked at me with a mix of frustration and incomprehension. “But mom, he's doing it wrong!” “It doesn't matter,” I said. “He'll learn on his own. Just let him do his thing.” Reluctantly, she walked back to the kitchen, but I could see she disagreed. Cyril looked at me gratefully and mumbled: “Thank you, mom.”

The most frustrating thing is that Rosy interferes not just with our family

Even her friends seem to be bothered by it. The other day she came home and casually mentioned that her friend Lotte had said to her, “Mind your own business, Rosy.” “What did you say then?” I asked. “Oh, nothing special,” she said with a shrug. “She wanted to do something stupid, and I just told her how she could do it better. But yeah, some people can't handle that.”

I had to do my best not to laugh

It was so typical of Rosy to justify her own meddling. But somewhere I also started to worry. What if she gets into trouble with this as she gets older? People don't always appreciate it when you give your opinion on everything, no matter how well-intentioned it is.

Yet it seems not to bother her

Rosy keeps interfering with everything, as if it's her personal mission to make the world a better place — or at least a place where everything goes according to her rules. I'm not sure if everyone is waiting for this. It seems to be part of her character and therefore unchangeable.

LOUS