Terri: “I told my family that enough was enough, and I resorted to this drastic solution”

The eternal struggle against clutter

Every day it's the same old story. No matter where I look in the house, there's always something out of place. Blocks under the couch, a headless doll on the stairs, and why is there even a sock in the fruit bowl? Getting the kids to clean up feels like an impossible challenge, if you ask me. I've tried everything, really, but nothing seems to work. And honestly? I'm totally done with it.

I have tried various ways to resolve it amicably

It all started quite innocently. When the children were younger, I turned it into a game. “Who can clean up five things the fastest?” I would shout excitedly. That worked... for a week. Then came the sticker chart. For every task they cleaned up, they could put a sticker on it, and at ten stickers, there was a small reward. You would think that would be motivation enough, but that didn't last long either. Then came the tactic of talking and explaining. “If you don't clean up your toys, others can step on them and break your nice things.” I've become an expert in peaceful negotiations, but my children just listened with wide eyes and then continued playing as if I was air.

I also tried to inject some humor into it. “Oh no, the cleaning robot is coming! Clean up, or it will throw everything into the trash can!” They laughed loudly, but none of them felt compelled to actually clean anything up.

I'm so done with it

After all those failed attempts, I must admit I'm burnt out. Cleaning up not only drains me physically, but mentally as well. Every time I pick up toys from the floor, I feel the irritation welling up. Why do I have to do this? Sometimes it feels like I'm their personal maid, and that's exactly what I don't want to be. But the worst part is that I find it increasingly difficult to hide that irritation. I hear it in my voice when I address them again. I see it in their faces, how they flinch at my tone. And that breaks my heart. Because they don't deserve this.

I devised a completely new method

One evening, after a long day in which the house had once again been turned into a battlefield, something inside me snapped. I stood there with my hands full of scattered toys and thought: This is it. Enough is enough. Then I had an idea. I grabbed a large garbage bag and announced: “Everything that is still lying around in the room tonight goes into this bag. And it's going to stay there for a while.” The children looked at me as if I was joking. But I did it. Cars, dolls, pirate ships – everything they hadn't picked up went into the bag.

I noticed an immediate effect

The next morning, I immediately noticed the effects. Mees, my eldest, asked about his pirate sword. “Mom, where is my sword?” I replied calmly: “In the trash bag. It was on the floor, and that's the new rule. If you don't pick something up, you lose it for a while.” He looked at me incredulously. “But I want it now!” I remained calm: “That's not possible. Maybe next week.”

Missing belongings make the children emotional

At the beginning, they were angry and sad. Mees literally stood by the garbage bag and begged to have his sword back. But I stood my ground. What I quickly noticed was that the lack made them more aware. The next evening, the living room was suddenly much emptier. The children walked around, busy returning toys to the shelf. Of course, it wasn't perfect (I still found some Lego under the table), but the difference was significant.

Everyone springs into action as soon as they see the garbage bag

Now, a few weeks later, I see the fruits of my approach. The garbage bag has now achieved an almost mythical status. When I bring it out, everyone immediately springs into action. Mees knows that without his pirate sword, he can't have any brave adventures. And my daughter? She guards her crafting supplies as if her life depends on it.

I have set a boundary that I also maintain

I know this method doesn't work for everyone, but for me, it's a relief. It's not just a practical solution to the chaos, but it has also changed something in me. I feel less frustrated because I've finally set a boundary and am maintaining it. The kids now know there are consequences if they don't clean up their stuff, and that gives me some breathing room. The house is still not a showroom, and it doesn't have to be. But the garbage bag has taught us all something: a little responsibility can work wonders. And honestly? I've become a much more relaxed mother.

TERRI