Kris: “Nobody gives birthday presents quite like I do”

Birthdays are always a celebration here, not just for my own daughters, Kate who is 11 and Kelly who is 7, but also for their friends

They receive invitations to parties and immediately ask me if I want to help think about gifts. And I like to do that because I enjoy giving presents. But for years I haven't been buying new items; everything I purchase is second-hand. Not just for my own children, but also for others. It feels good to do it this way. There are already so many things in the world, and I don't want to keep contributing to even more production and waste.

Some people might find it odd to give second-hand gifts to other children

But for me, it's a conscious choice. There are plenty of things that are still in perfect condition and that I can give a new life to. Moreover, I believe that it doesn't matter whether something is brand new. It's about the care and the idea behind it. And often children don't care at all about where something comes from, as long as it's fun.

It started a few years ago, when Kate was invited to the birthday party of a classmate, Linda

Linda absolutely loved dinosaurs, and I knew that the gift had to be related to that. Instead of going to the toy store, I decided to search online for second-hand toys. After some searching, I found a beautiful dinosaur set, complete with various types of dinosaurs and a playmat. The set looked as good as new, and it seemed perfect for Linda. I picked it up, cleaned everything thoroughly, and wrapped it nicely. It was one of those moments when I was really happy with my choice.

At the party, I saw Linda's face light up when she unwrapped the gift

She immediately dove into the box and began arranging the dinosaurs on the playmat. It felt good to see how excited she was, and I knew it didn't matter that it was second-hand. The smile on her face was all that mattered. Kate came to me later and whispered that Linda thought it was "really very nice". It gave me confirmation that I had made the right choice.

Another time, for Kelly's friend Hannah, I found a set with all sorts of different dolls and doll clothes

Hannah loved dolls, and I knew she would like this. The set I found was second-hand, from a store, but still in perfect condition. I remember hesitating whether I could give it because Hannah's mother always gave her children the latest things. But I dismissed those thoughts and decided to go for the gift anyway. It's the thought and the joy it brings that matters, I told myself.

When Hannah opened the box, her face lit up

She immediately started looking at the different dolls and pieces of clothing, and her face lit up from ear to ear. I stood on the side watching, feeling a bit relieved that she enjoyed it so much. That happy expression on a child's face makes everything worthwhile. Later, Hannah's mother told me that she had played with the dolls for hours that evening. I was glad that I had followed my principles.

Now, a few years later, it has almost become a habit

For every party, I dive into second-hand stores or scour online for beautiful items that deserve a second life. Kate and Kelly sometimes help me, and they often find it just as exciting as I do to find the perfect gift. I always try to find something that suits the child for whom it is intended, and that makes the search fun too.

One of my favorite moments was before Finn's party, a friend of Kelly's

He is absolutely crazy about cars and everything to do with racetracks. Kelly told me he had a whole collection, so I knew the gift had to be along those lines. I eventually found a beautiful set with little cars and a small racetrack. It was clear that it had been well-played with, but that just gave it character. I cleaned everything and repaired a few loose parts. Nice and old-school. Kelly helped me with the wrapping, and I could see she was just as excited as I was.

When Finn opened the gift, he was very happy

He immediately started driving around with his new little cars, and the other children watched in fascination. Kelly told me later that Finn told everyone it was “the best gift ever.” That gave me a warm feeling. It didn't matter that it wasn't new; it was about the experience and the joy it brought. I did notice a disapproving look from mother, but I don't care about that. It doesn't bother me.

Not every gift is a great success, of course

Sometimes I'm afraid that children will see the difference and might wonder why their gift is different from others. But time and again I notice that it doesn't matter. Children see the magic in the play, in the story they imagine with it, and not in the origin of the gift. I think that's a beautiful lesson.

I keep making this choice because it's better for the world

If I can give something that gets a second life, it feels good to me. And my daughters, Kate and Kelly, also learn that it's not about having the newest things or the most expensive gift, but about the joy you can bring. They are increasingly helping me with searching and wrapping, and I can see they enjoy giving attention to the gifts they give in this way. It makes me proud that I can follow my principles.

KRIS