My daughter asked me the question I knew was going to come: “Why can't children ever play at our house?”

My daughter Lexi has been in first grade for a few months now

She loves it. Every morning she almost jumps out of bed, ready to grab her bag and go to school. And honestly? I'm glad she enjoys it so much. But there's one thing I'm getting a bit tired of: those endless playdates.

Don't get me wrong, I wish Lexi all the joy in the world

But with 4 children in the house, it's already busy enough. Sylvie is in the first year of secondary school and has a different drama every day about homework or gym clothes that she's lost. Bjorn is eleven and thinks he's already a teenager. And Leslie, well, Leslie is a nine-year-old tornado who never sits still. So no, I'm not looking forward to having extra kids in the house, no matter how sweet they are.

At first, I thought I was being smart by having playdates at other people's places

When Lexi came home after a few weeks asking if she could play at Sanne's place, I saw my opportunity. “That's a great idea, Lexi! Ask Sanne's mom if she likes it too,” I said. That very evening, I received a message from Sanne's mother. “How nice that they want to play! Lexi can come over after school on Thursday.” Perfect. I sent back an enthusiastic “Absolutely fine, thank you!” and felt relieved.

Lexi had the time of her life at Sanne's, and I enjoyed a peaceful afternoon at home

But I knew I couldn't keep putting it off forever. A few weeks later, when another mother at the schoolyard asked if her daughter could come over to our house, I felt less certain. “Ah, that would probably be nice for Lexi,” I said. “But this week is so busy. Maybe we could meet at your place first? Lexi always finds it exciting to go somewhere new, and that's good for her.” It worked again. But for how long?

The real challenge began when Lexi started asking more frequently if someone could come over to play with us

Once she came out of the class excitedly. “Mom, can Lisa come over to our house? She really wants to see my toys!” I felt panic rising, but managed to quickly compose myself. “Oh, sweetheart, that sounds like a lot of fun. But you know what would be even more fun? If you could play at Lisa’s first. Ask her mom if that’s okay!” It worked, and once again I had an afternoon ‘off’.

But last week came the conversation that I could no longer avoid

Lexi was sitting at the table and looked at me with a serious expression. “Mom, why can't my friends ever play here?” she asked. I sighed and sat down next to her. “Sweetheart, it's not that I don't want them to. But it's already so busy at home with your brothers and sister. Sometimes it's just a bit too much for me.” She looked at me for a moment and then nodded. “But can they come over after a while?”

“Yes,” I said

“Once everyone is a bit more settled in at school and things are calmer at home, you can definitely bring a friend over. Agreed?” Her face brightened. “Agreed!”. The next day, a mother approached me in the schoolyard. “Isa, my daughter Emma really wants to play with Lexi. Can we arrange something?”

This time I decided to be honest

“It's great that Emma wants to! Lexi would really enjoy it too. But I must admit, it's quite busy at home now with 4 children. We haven't really had the space to plan these kinds of things. But in a few weeks, when things calm down a bit, we'll make arrangements. Is that okay?” The mother seemed a bit surprised, but then nodded understandingly. “That makes sense. Just let me know when it suits you.”

I felt relieved

No more excuses, just be honest. For now, this is enough. Lexi knows that she can bring someone along soon, and I have time to prepare for that. With 4 of my own children, it's already a play palace here, and that's enough for me for the time being.