Cynthia: “My daughter told me she was cutting herself, and that turned out to be just the beginning…”
Our 15-year-old daughter, let's call her Bregje, has always been a quiet girl. Since she hit puberty, she spent a lot of time in her room; she enjoyed reading, playing games, drawing, and watching series. As a result, we didn't immediately notice that sometimes she was actually withdrawing and that there had been things going on for a while.
The transition to high school took some getting used to
When she went to secondary school at the age of twelve, it was a big adjustment for her. She has autism and ADD, so changes are very difficult for her. She received support at school and managed quite well through the years despite overstimulation and bullying related to her autism.
She was in pre-vocational secondary education and was allowed to start in the second year of pre-vocational theoretical education (formerly mavo). At the beginning of the second year, it went the same way: overstimulation, but it seemed to be going well, we thought.
She said that she cut herself
One day she told me that she was cutting her arms. She couldn't really explain why she did it. We sought help and she received counseling. We actually didn't think she was being helped enough; she also said that she wanted more than just 'talking'.
Shortly after, my father passed away in March 2024; she had a very hard time with it. She didn't talk to anyone about it. She spent a lot of time in her room, but she had always done that. At school, she missed a few weeks, but she still made it to the second year and was allowed to go to the third after the summer holidays!
From the summer of 2024, things progressively got worse
In the summer of 2024, we noticed that Bregje was increasingly doing worse: she had no interest in anything, didn't want to do anything, and spent a lot of time in her room. The school year also started off poorly: she often went home due to sensory overload and had panic attacks at the mere thought of school. She missed a lot and couldn't really explain where it was coming from.
She often came home 'sick' or stayed at home. The conversations she had seemed not to help. She was absent so often that the attendance officer got involved; from there, the Public Health Service was asked to take a look. After that, we received a call about it.
We suddenly saw her lose a lot of weight
Meanwhile, we saw her losing weight; she ate very poorly: two oatmeal bars per day, one for breakfast and one for lunch. Dinner was still okay.
When we were called by the Public Health Service for a consultation with a behavior therapist, I asked if they could also check her weight. We thought she was getting very thin. We could already tell; she had been wearing loose clothing for quite some time.
She fell deeper and deeper into depression
In October 2024, she had to go to the GGD and weighed about 45 kilos: she had lost weight, but was still within her growth curve.
She no longer dared to go to school and we saw her increasingly falling into depression. Her eating decreased; eventually, she would sometimes only have an apple and a bowl of yogurt — that was all we could get her to eat. She didn't want to eat.
In December 2024, it became clear
In December 2024, she wanted to tell us something.
She didn't dare to say it and asked if she could type it instead. There, the dreadful words were typed out: 'I think I have an eating disorder.'
The beginning of the rollercoaster called anorexia.
CYNTHIA
