Charissa worked as a Nanny: "Etta, the youngest, suddenly had a cardiac arrest"

Etta always remained cheerful

Etta was still super cheerful every day. The fact that I had to dress her (and myself!) in different clothes every day because of the spitting up became normal. Whereas I adhered to a healthy diet with Scarlett, I gave Etta all sorts of things: as long as she ate and gained weight.

April 2023: the Easter weekend that changed everything

Etta was back in the hospital. After a check-up because she wasn't feeling quite right, it turned out her oxygen level was much too low. An ambulance was called, and off to the hospital.

Things were getting progressively worse. Etta was put to sleep so her body could recover peacefully.

The family took in Arthur and Scarlett, and I went to Adam's and my house in the countryside—because if I overworked myself, I would be of no use to anyone.

That's when I received the message from Alice. Etta was under deep sedation, with a breathing and feeding tube. Things were getting worse and worse. Whether I wanted to call... and talk to her. We didn't know if Etta could hear us. I didn't know what to say, but I talked to her on the phone for twenty minutes.

The night of the cardiac arrest

Two days later, Etta suffered a cardiac arrest in the middle of the night.

For eleven minutes, she had no heartbeat.

April 2024 would be the month when Etta greets me with: “Hi Sissa!!”

April 2024 would be the month when you—if you didn't know—wouldn't notice anything about her.

A miracle without an apparent cause

The reason for the cardiac arrest is unknown to anyone. That she came out of it so well is a miracle.

As a nanny, you do what you can. I was with Adam when it happened and immediately went to London. There, I took care of the two eldest while Adam continued to sleep, and we tried to keep everything as normal as possible for the children. Bowling, McDonald's, cake in the park... and just going to school for the routine.

After her cardiac arrest, Etta was kept in a medically induced coma. It was uncertain if and how she would wake up. Alice and Paddy asked if I wanted to see her. I hesitated for a moment—fearful of what I might find—but I went anyway.

For the first time in the pediatric ICU

For the first time in my life, I entered a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, armed with a Paddington stuffed toy, her favorite. Wires everywhere, beeping, machines. Your heart shatters into a thousand pieces, but you stay strong because no one benefits from someone breaking down in tears.

I was allowed to hold her. Occasionally she would open her eyes while I talked to her. They were slowly waking her up. Still no idea how she would come out of this.

When I left her room, I let the tears flow. But at home, two children were waiting for Sissa to read them a story. So you dry your tears... and you move on. You just do it.

The turnaround: Etta recovers

Just as only Etta could, she made a remarkable turnaround. She recovered and gradually could do without oxygen. I visited again — this time not in the ICU — and she was sitting up in bed.

She couldn't speak yet (she was almost two), but normally she would make a lot of little noises. Because of the tube in her throat, that was no longer possible. That silence has stayed with me; in my mind, it felt worse than seeing her lying in the intensive care unit.

Home: a new kind of nanny exists

After a few weeks, Etta was allowed to go home. The following months were the most intense of my nanny career.

We were given strict instructions:

• All liquids had to be thickened
• Her breathing had to be monitored continuously
• Every development had to be monitored

My regular nanny job turned into caring for a special-needs child. And even though I didn't want to see her as “special needs”... she did require that care.

Every day I laughed at her cheerfulness, but every day I also had moments of panic.
After going to bed: how did the night go?

Fever: is this normal fever, or hospital-grade fever?

Did I see her nails turn blue in the light, or...?

Did I use enough thickening agent, even though I was distracted three times?

It has been an intensive few months. And yes, the ultimate responsibility was with Alice and Paddy, but as soon as you start caring full-time... you automatically start to think the worst.

Etta picked up her own pace again

After a few months, you hardly noticed anything about Etta. Yes, she was a bit behind in development, but that was always the case. She grew at her own pace, as always.

The approaching farewell

Meanwhile, the end of my time as their nanny was approaching. I was going to get married and no longer live in London.

When Adam and I set a wedding date, it automatically became the month when I would quit. Everyone knew it... and everyone ignored it. Until a vacation was planned, and it was clear that the day before would be my last day at work.

I was somewhat ready to stop — working 7 to 7, five days a week, with panic attacks in between — but I was also not ready to not see the kids every day. We had come so far, especially with Etta. She started to chatter again, small words, gestures, and she even began to walk holding our hands.

My last day

At the end of August came my last day. Adam came in the afternoon and together we put the kids to bed. I think only the eldest realized what was happening.

“But Sissa, this is the last time we can play penalties! No one else likes football but you!”

Scarlett was just happy:

“Cause this means your wedding is soon and I am your flowergirl!!!!”

After putting to bed—where I occasionally stood crying in the hallway—we ate with Paddy and Alice. And then it was time to leave. We couldn't hold back the tears.

The wedding: an unexpected surprise

Fortunately, I saw them again two weeks later at my wedding. Arthur and Scarlett as pageboy and flowergirl.

Etta was not present. Children with WSS often suffer from separation anxiety, and the last few months before my departure, saying goodbye was already difficult. And at my wedding, we wouldn't be able to explain to her why I didn't have time for her.

But Etta was there, just a little bit. In my bouquet. Alice and Paddy didn't know anything—their reaction after the ceremony was priceless.

A side note: a Dutch whipped cream cake as a wedding cake at an English wedding?

Massive hit.

Life after being a nanny

After the honeymoon (Newfoundland, Canada — highly recommended!) I didn't see the kids for a few weeks, so they could adjust to the new situation. Until Scarlett said:

“Mummy, Sissa is my best friend and I haven’t seen her in ages! I need to see her.”

So I went to have lunch in London. Scarlett was sad that I didn't go home with her, but afterwards I made sure to see her regularly. So that they know:

Sissa comes. And Sissa goes. But Sissa always comes back.

Adam and I still see them often. Sometimes the children even stay with us for a few days when their parents are on a business trip.

2025: Etta walks and talks

It's already 2025. Etta can "talk", and walk. She says my name. With words and gestures, she makes clear what she wants. She goes to preschool a few hours a week and is doing great.

It remains an adventure, every single day. No one knows how she will continue to develop — but Etta is Etta, Arthur is Arthur, and Scarlett is Scarlett.

And what I said to them on my last day at work?

“Thank you for teaching me things in life no one else could.”

What now? The next chapter

Am I now a nanny for a new family? No.

The plan after the honeymoon was to not work for a few months. Just to recover from years of nannying.

I got pregnant quite quickly... something went wrong.

And later pregnant again... which again went wrong.

Last Friday we officially started a fertility treatment. Not because we can't get pregnant, but because my body has difficulty maintaining a pregnancy.

It's quite a journey to hopefully

to make it possible for me to carry a child. But more on that next time.

CHARISSA