Siska (39): "I have never been on vacation without my children, and I want it to stay that way, even when they're grown up"

Siska (39) has two children, Anthony (10) and Ilona (8). She has never been on vacation without them and has no desire to do so. For her, going on vacation is about being together. She notices that she does not want to deviate from this, even as the children get older.

I have never done it differently

Anthony was born ten years ago. Since that moment, I haven't planned a vacation without him. Not a single night, not a single weekend, not once in all those years. Not with family, not with my husband, nor with friends. When Ilona joined us, it stayed that way. People sometimes asked if I didn't want a break. I always said the same thing: “No, I just want to go with the kids. Always.” I never felt any doubt. I booked vacations, I packed their bags, and I never thought about an option without them.

During the school holidays, I spend weeks together with them

For me, that has become normal. I don't look for time without children, at most an hour in the supermarket or watching a movie late at night when they are asleep. But to really go away without them, I have never considered.

Vacations with us are very practical

When we go to France, Germany, or Italy, we arrange everything in a way that suits the children. I make sure there is a swimming pool, a supermarket nearby, and that we can prepare meals easily. We choose places where Anthony and Ilona have plenty to do. Toby looks at the route, I look at the accommodation, and the kids get involved by asking if there are swimming pools and playgrounds, haha. On holiday, they sometimes spend hours in the water. I sit nearby, making sure they don't push each other too hard, and I get towels when they are cold. In the evenings, we eat simple meals, often pasta or sandwiches, because that's the easiest. For the children. I don't go out to eat without the kids. We have never done that. Not even with friends. I always take them along.

Anthony and Ilona take it for granted

Recently, someone asked Ilona if she would like it if mom and dad went out alone sometime. She looked surprised and said, "But why would they do that?" She said it without any anger, just as if the idea was unfamiliar to her. Anthony once said in the car that he likes that he can always come along. I didn't say much in return, but I understood what he meant. In the evenings on vacation, they often snuggle up to us in bed to watch something for a while. Toby then lies against the headboard, Ilona next to him, Anthony next to me. We've been doing this for years.

Other parents do it differently

In my surroundings, I see that many parents go away for a weekend without their children every year. Some even do it for several weeks a year. They then tell how good it is for them. I listen politely and nod. I can't imagine it. I feel no need to follow suit. Not because it's wrong, but because it doesn't fit me. When someone asks if we do that too, my answer is always: “No, we don't do that.” I leave it at that. I don't want to explain, and I certainly don't want a discussion. Everyone does what feels right. The last time at a birthday party, a friend asked: “Siska, don't you ever take time alone with Toby?”
I said: “Sure, at home.” I didn't give more explanation. That's how we do it. My husband also prefers to go on vacation with the children. In that respect, we feel exactly the same. So nice!

I also want to go on vacation with them later

When my neighbor said that it 'naturally changes when they become teenagers', I didn't relate. I actually like Anthony and Ilona a lot. I enjoy having them around me. Even when they argue over board games or begrudge each other who gets to sit in the front seat of the car. When I book a holiday, I immediately look for beds that are suitable for four people. I never check options for two. I have never done that. I know children get older. And I still want to go out with the four of us. And I think they like that too. If they also want to go away with friends, that's fine by me. I will never stand in their way. If it's up to me, holidays will always be celebrated together. The nuclear family.

Even when they have children of their own later on

Ik denk soms aan de toekomst wanneer ik zie hoe groot Anthony al is. Hij past bijna niet meer op mijn schoot, maar hij probeert het nog steeds. Ilona helpt me soms met het brood smeren. Als ik dat zie, denk ik aan later. Ik zie het zo voor me dat ze later met hun eigen partners en kinderen op vakantie gaan. En als het aan mij ligt, dan ga ik gewoon mee. Zowel met Anthony, als Ilona. Ik hoef niet in hetzelfde huis te slapen, maar ik ben graag in de buurt. Ik kook, ik pas op, ik help. Het lijkt me fijn om vakanties met mijn kinderen en kleinkinderen te delen.
Niet om controle te houden, maar omdat ik het prettig vind om dicht bij hen te zijn. Ik hoop dat we dit mogelijk gaan maken samen als gezin.

Does anyone here have experience with this? Is there a mother who always happily goes on vacation with the children (and grandchildren?). That seems absolutely fantastic to me!

SISKA