Josie (27): "My waters broke at 19 weeks of pregnancy, will our little boy survive this?"

In May 2021, I was pregnant with our second child. What started with joy and future plans changed when I experienced severe bleeding and eventually a large hematoma. The tension, uncertainty, and hope followed each other at a rapid pace, until the moment my waters broke far too early. At 19.6 weeks of pregnancy, our son Levv was born. He lived for another hour and a half and showed us how much fight he had in him. This is the story of love, loss, and how we continue to remember him in our family.

Our second pregnancy

It's early May 2021 when I'm holding a positive pregnancy test. Our eldest daughter was born in February 2020, and we liked the idea of our children being close in age. I told Jan immediately, and we actually also told our families right away.

De start was zorgeloos

Several calm weeks followed and everything was going well. Until I passed the 10th week of pregnancy. While cleaning, I suddenly felt something flowing. It turned out to be blood, and quite a lot of it. I texted Jan and told him what I saw and thought; that this must be a miscarriage. This couldn't be good with so much blood loss.

In the hospital, an ultrasound was immediately performed and I saw a very active baby on the screen with a strong heartbeat. I hadn't expected that. What the gynecologist also saw was a hematoma, which was causing the bleeding. I was given medication to keep the uterus calm, but at that moment I didn't think it was a dangerous situation. Somewhat reassured, I walked out of the hospital.

Fact Sheet: Hematoma During Pregnancy

• A hematoma (subchorionic hematoma) is a bleeding between the uterine wall and the amniotic sac. It can cause bleeding during pregnancy.
  🔗 Read more – NCBI
• Almost 1 in 2 women in the first trimester has a hematoma; this can increase the risk of miscarriage before 20 weeks.
  🔗 Read more – Nature (2024)
• Large hematomas can cause complications (such as a placental abruption), but often they resolve on their own without consequences.
  🔗 Read more – Cleveland Clinic
• Treatment usually involves rest and follow-up ultrasounds. Sometimes the doctor may recommend additional medications such as progesterone or anti-D.
  🔗 Read more – Kaiser Permanente

I had daily bleeding

In the weeks that followed, I experienced daily bleeding, which got progressively worse each week. Initially, it was light bleeding, then significant clots, and eventually anemia due to the continuous blood loss. I felt increasingly worse and more fatigued with each passing day.

There were fortunately also beautiful moments. For instance, we discovered that after having a daughter, we were now expecting a son. We celebrated this with a gender reveal with the family.

We received a disturbing message

Due to the severity of the blood loss, we were allowed to have an advanced ultrasound performed in Utrecht to ensure that the baby was healthy. My gynecologist told me that there are women who, in my situation, opt for a termination of pregnancy. I found this difficult to hear.

Our little boy turned out to be completely healthy, but there was indeed a large hematoma on the back wall of the membranes. It even seemed larger than what had been measured in our local hospital, so it was growing. The plan now was that we would stay in our local hospital until 24 weeks, and after that, I would be treated at the UMC. This would probably mean: admission, tocolytics, and corticosteroid injections for lung maturation.

After the 20-week ultrasound something went wrong

After the reassuring 20-week ultrasound, things went wrong. I was with our little daughter at my parents' house when I felt something running. At first, I wasn't worried anymore, until I saw the color: light pink and watery. My heart jumped into my throat, I immediately knew something was seriously wrong.

My water had broken…

I went to the hospital with my mother. At that time, Jan was playing football and didn't know anything yet. I informed my sister-in-law, who was watching the match.

In the hospital, they saw a moving baby on the ultrasound, but with very little amniotic fluid. When the amniotic fluid test also came back positive, it was certain: my waters had broken. I was 19.6 weeks pregnant.

My sister-in-law had Jan taken off the field and brought him to the hospital. We were both sad and defeated. What now? The answer was that nothing could be done. No admission, no treatment. The only thing we could do was wait, stay calm, and hope that I would make it to 24 weeks. But the doctors said that the chance was very small.

The labor progressed

The following day, the contractions began. During the day, we had been to the hospital because I was experiencing cramps and bleeding, but at that time everything still looked fine. Our brave little boy was happily wriggling about.

That evening I told Jan that I would go to bed early. However, the cramps kept coming. I called my mother and my little sister came to look after our daughter. Eventually, I couldn't bear it any longer: I got up and blood was running down my legs.

In the hospital, I immediately started having contractions. I tried to hold on until Jan was there, because I didn't want our little boy to come into the world alone. As soon as I heard him beside me, I relaxed. After pushing twice, our perfect little boy was born.

Our son Levv was still alive

He was placed on my chest and I was shocked that he was still alive. I had expected that he wouldn't survive the birth. But he turned out to be a fighter: he lived for another hour and a half. An incredibly strong little boy. We named him Levv, which means 'heart' and 'lion'. He deserved a name that showed how brave he was.

We had to say goodbye

We took Levv home and the next day his big sister met him. She was still too small to understand. Family came by to see him and to be there for us.

On the Wednesday after the birth, the cremation took place. Only Jan and I were there, due to corona. It happened in a beautiful location. Later, as we walked back to the car, we saw smoke rising. The employee said, “That is your Levv, making his final journey upwards, to his rest.”

That afternoon we had a small farewell at home with family. We released balloons along the Merwede, with notes attached to them. Afterwards, we ate cake and snacks, and were able to talk together.

Life felt different

After the chaos, the most difficult period began: returning to 'normal' life. While there was nothing normal left. The sense of loss cut deep.

Now, a few years later, we have had another son and a daughter after Levv, and our latest child is on the way. The loss of Levv has changed me permanently. I am more grateful, our relationship is stronger, and I enjoy the little things more. He taught me that we often worry about nothing.

Levv will always stay with us

At home, we have set up a nice little spot for him, with gifts he received and his urn. A light burns day and night. Every year on his birthday, we celebrate with a small party with cake and release balloons for him and his cousin. We always say that they are having a party together up there.

We mainly celebrate that he has come into our lives. Because although the experience was terrible, I wouldn't have wanted to miss him for the world.

JOOSJE