Phoenix: “How was I supposed to tell my parents, I was 17 years old and having a baby!“

There I was at my in-laws' house in the bathroom with the pregnancy test in my hand

My friend was there to support me. “I don't dare. I don't expect to be pregnant, but what if I am?”. I really didn't expect to be pregnant. After all, I took the pill neatly every day. Despite my period being off, I couldn't imagine being pregnant. Me, getting a baby at 17, no, ridiculous. Suddenly, I was pulled out of my thoughts. “Dinner is ready!”, someone called from downstairs.

My friend went downstairs

“It's now or never,” I thought, and I took the test. Before I was finished and could put the test away for safekeeping, two thick lines appeared immediately. My breath stopped. The world around me spun. According to the instructions, this really meant I was pregnant. There was no doubt about it. The lines were almost bright red. HOW!? WHAT?! I hid the test far away, took a deep breath, and went downstairs as if nothing had happened.

That evening, my friend and I went to visit some friends

I had taken the test in my coat pocket and asked him to stop at a parking spot. I gave him the test and told him I was pregnant. My boyfriend didn't believe it. I didn't really believe it either. We rationalized it by saying that the test might be wrong. You hear that sometimes, right? We made an appointment with the doctor for an ultrasound. Then we would know for sure.

After a week, that day had arrived

We had an ultrasound to see if I was pregnant or not. As I lay there, it was confirmed: I was definitely pregnant. It was clearly visible on the ultrasound. I saw two little arms and legs. Even tiny fingers and feet with toes. I had a little person inside me. It turned out I was already three months pregnant. My boyfriend and I were in shock, but seeing the little one wriggling in my belly made us fall in love instantly. We did not see abortion as an option even though we were still very young.

Now we still had to tell our parents

We were dreading it so much. Who knows how they will react to this? We didn't have a job, a house, and I had just started my studies. That same evening we decided to tell my mother-in-law. She was in shock and could only cry. She didn't understand why we were keeping the baby, given that we were absolutely not stable ourselves. The next day we told my mom. She was impressed that we had already made our choice and were certain to do everything for the little one. In the days that followed, we told the rest of the family. Everyone was shocked that we were going to become parents at such a young age, but everyone supported us and accepted our choice.

Slowly but surely, however, everything became

A tiny human was growing inside me that I had to give all my love and care to. To give the little one a future, we had to make a drastic change. I made the decision to quit school to focus entirely on the little one. My boyfriend completed his education and started working. My pregnancy went smoothly. I had a nice belly, felt very good, and didn't suffer from nausea. I had prepared well by reading up on the impending birth and attending information evenings.

Until one evening, as I was sitting calmly in a chair drinking tea, I felt something happening downstairs

I ran to the bathroom. "It's started!", I shouted, as the amniotic fluid ran down my legs. At that moment I realized: "Now I'm really becoming a mom". Since I wasn't having contractions yet and it was quite late, I decided to go to bed to conserve energy for the delivery. Before I could fall asleep, I felt the contractions starting. I decided to distract myself and played a game on the computer. Two hours later, the contractions started to hurt a lot and I became restless. After all, I had learned in the courses that during a first delivery, contractions would last at least 24 hours. "How am I going to endure this?", I thought. Within three hours, the contractions seemed to come every minute. "That's impossible. I must be imagining it", I thought. As a precaution, I called the midwife. She advised me to take a shower. "Sometimes the contractions then decrease", I was told.

Once under the shower, I couldn't hold back and I experienced a surge of contractions

I could just crawl out of the shower to shout that I really couldn't take it anymore and that the midwife had to come. The midwife arrived as quickly as she could and after some tests, she told me that I was already 9 centimeters dilated! I was totally unprepared for everything to happen so quickly. We had to rush to the hospital now! Slowly I crawled down the stairs and once again coped with the contractions on hands and knees, and got into the car as quickly as possible. On the way, I felt an enormous pressure that I couldn't place. It hurt so much. Those turned out to be the pushing contractions. Stubbornly, I held back and did not go along with them. I absolutely did not want to give birth in the car!

Once I arrived at the hospital, everything went by in a flash

I was fortunate that the delivery in the hospital went smoothly. I surrendered and pushed with every contraction I felt. One hour later, he was there: Fabio. Although he was born at 38 weeks, he had a fairly good start. He was a bit hypothermic and was kept warm with hot water bottles. Once his temperature was up, he was allowed to try breastfeeding. It worked immediately. When I held him in my arms and looked at him, I only then realized: I had truly become a mother!

PHOENIX